Jimmy Kimmel Scores at Disney’s Sports-Centric, Star-Studded Upfront

As usual, Jimmy Kimmel told the truth at Disney’s upfront on Wednesday.

A huge chunk of Disney’s presentation was about sports. Jalen Brunson of the Knicks got the biggest cheers. The Savannah Bananas sang and danced. Joe Buck hugged NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and Peyton Manning hugged his brother Eli.

All of that led into Disney’s ambitious plans to air the Super Bowl on ABC and ESPN.

“Are you excited for the Super Bowl? Stay excited for the whole year, because that's the plan. This will be the first Super Bowl on ABC in 20 years, and we are going to milk the bejesus out of it,” Kimmel said.

“We are going to spend the whole year promoting the already most popular thing on earth, and as if the country isn't already divided enough, we put the game on Valentine's Day, just to be dicks,” Kimmel said. “And let me tell you what the halftime show this year is going to be: The whitest shit you've ever seen. Goodbye, Bad Bunny. Welcome back, O-Town.”

The most attractive programming on TV these days is live events. In addition to the Super Bowl, Disney will have the College Football Championship Game, the Grammy and the Oscars.

Disney also rolled out a huge slate of entertainment programming and the constellation of stars that will appear in everything from Marvel and Star Wars to sitcoms and animation.

“The rest of our industry, everybody, in their own way, is racing to assemble something–studios, streaming services, sports, rights, live events and brands that audiences feel something about,” said new Disney CEO Josh Amaro in his first upfront appearance. “It is, in a way, a real compliment to this company, because what they're racing to assemble is more or less the picture of what we already are.”

Global Advertising President Rita Ferro told advertisers Disney was offering advertiser premium content at scale, powered by technology.

“That's the next chapter, with AI embedded across our entire ad tech stack, powering smarter planning, sharper audience segmentation and dynamic creative tools that makes ad placement even more effective,” Ferro said.

“And as many of you already know, Disney Compass is the front door for data collaboration and performance measurement, all part of one, one connected end to end platform, bringing our content, our data and technology together,” she said. “We're already operating with more intelligent automated systems that can learn, decide and act in real time, not someday, already in-market and getting smarter every single day.”

Between the Super Bowl and its new NFL deal, Disney expects to see a 55% increase in NFL impressions this year. The company will deliver 40% of football impressions this coming season.

With its live events and familiar brands and characters, Disney is “defined by fandom, by technology, by possibility,” Ferro said. “I couldn't be more proud to build that future together with all of you.”

Funny Business

Jimmy Kimmel got a huge ovation from the upfront crowd he’s repeatedly insulted in the past.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see you guys again either. But the poster boy for data and measurement solution is back,” he said. “Having been through so much bullshit this year, it actually made me appreciate this bullshit.”

Kimmel noted that the president tried to get him fired two times over the past six months. “That’s one way to look at it. You could also say I generate unparalleled engagement across a variety of platforms,” noting that the controversy has boosted his show’s ratings by 25%.

Kimmel said that he has cost Disney billions, maybe more than any employee ever has cost a company. “Hiring me 24 years ago, just from a purely mathematical standpoint was the worst personnel decision that Disney has ever made. Not even the capital of the Exxon Valdez did more damage,” he said.

To recoup some of that money, he sent his sidekick Guillermo Rodriguez into the audience with a collection basket.

Kimmel, and the other TV late night hosts, had appeared on The Late Show Monday night to say goodbye to Stephen Colbert, whose show was canceled.

“As you know, CBS is turning 11:35 into a leased time slot. Leased as it least likely to offend the president,” he said. “Imaging getting replaced by the owner of The Weather Channel.”

This season NBC was the number one network, topping CBS. “Are you allowed to brag about being number one when you had the Olympics and the Super Bowl? Only if you have them again next year. And you don’t,” Kimmel said.

Getting back to the ad business, Kimmel said that “our secret is that we keep it simple. We keep it accessible. Disney Campaign Manager gives you access 24 hours a day, seven days a week, whether you’re drying through your daughter’s graduation, begging your wife for anniversary sex or even in the middle of a colonoscopy. There is no time you can’t launch, measure and optimize your ad campaign.”

He added that “our enhanced ads provide groundbreaking interactivity with the viewer. Ever wanted to give Jake from State Farm a reach around? Now like a good neighbor you can."

“And it’s all powered by AI and agentic AI. For those of you fortunate enough to not know what that means, AI is a group of autonomous systems capable of planning, making decision and executing multi-step tasks to achieve specific goals with limited human supervision,” he said. “And that is a fancy way of say you are all f**ked.”

Kimmel then called out his 11-year-old daughter to introduce singer Olivia Rodrigo, who closed the show.